The week before this last one I felt especially productive. I was on a roll with multiple projects, my sewjo was flowing, and I was in the groove.
This week not so much. My mojo totally fled. I couldn’t get in any kind of consistent rhythm. All of the quilting to-do lists were ignored and I didn’t hit the ‘business’ deadlines I’d hoped.
I debated even writing a post because I didn’t have anything new to share.
But then I thought, you know, this is how life is these days for so many of us. I’m trying to do a better job of just allowing “what is” right now.
Most of the time I’ve loved having my family around for the last few months. But other times, I miss quiet time alone. Since our son’s health changes in January, I haven’t had many times alone to just work or think. And I think that’s taking a little bit of a toll – it’s harder for me to get into a ‘flow’ with anything. I’m constantly a little bit distracted. I feel like I’ve made more mistakes,typos, or written less coherently for weeks. Thanks for your patience with me.
As I was starting to feel frustrated with myself that I didn’t get much work or creative sewing done this past week, I look back and I realized I did accomplish some sewing and a lot of other even more important things:
It was a crazy week for my husband in his business and other responsibilities and I just needed to pick up that parental slack for him.
We made and delivered Senior Graduation gifts to 13 kids in our neighborhood.
We visited two cemeteries with loved ones.
We went for a drive and hike in the nearby mountains which totally fed my soul (see photo above).
I made two blocks for the Riley Blake block challenge.
I finished my last 100 PPE masks for Project Protect. (I had 11 days this time to do it, but couldn’t get myself moving on them until the last day and a half. Good thing there was a deadline to make me get them done. And I did enjoy working on them once I got myself to sit and sew.)
I hosted a bridal shower for one of my daughter’s friends in a weird, social-distancing kind of event that ended up in our garage because of bad weather.
I planted flowers including a lot of Zinnias. Seeing as we now have no summer plans, I’m channeling more energy and effort into my yard. And I’m enjoying that. It’s become a nice quiet place to work and to just be still.
I attended another round of medical appointments with our son. (Thanks to all those who ask about him. He’s improving ever so slightly, but it’s slow going. Such is the case with Dysautonomia issues. I find myself not wanting to talk much about it to other people, even when kind people ask about him. I think because it’s mentally taxing trying to explain something that we still don’t fully have answers for ourselves. And I think that’s contributing to my funk this week. Sometimes I feel optimistic and other weeks I feel discouraged. I know that’s pretty normal. I’m trying to just roll with both.)
I felt sad and concerned for so many who are going through an exceptionally difficult time right now, for the upheaval and fear many are facing – far more difficult than what I’m dealing with.
I caught up with some good friends that I hadn’t seen for months. Also good for the soul.
Typing all of that, is a good reminder that I accomplished a lot. Even when I felt in a funk. And a good reminder that I’m a human.
I’m also noticing some of my interests changing and evolving. For example, I typically enjoy social media, but have found it overwhelming and draining for the past month and have found myself avoiding it.
Normally I love listening to audio books and podcasts, but lately I’ve had a harder time focusing and I’ve started listening to classical music! I haven’t done that for a while and it’s been a nice change of pace. I’ve even started playing it for my family through the house (with various types of responses. I’m going to win them over.)
We’ve consumed so much media these past few months, I’m trying to do better at turning off screens and playing the classical music, or just having silence to give our brains a break.
I’ve also made time each day to be still – to read scripture or other inspiring words, to meditate, practice gratitude, and to ponder/pray. I know that’s bringing me more peace than I realize sometimes.
I started cross stitching again. For some reason, it just sounded soothing to me. So I pulled out my Pretty Little London cross stitch project that I started 5 years ago and I’ve been working away on it happily while I hang out with my kids. I think I lost interest in it a while back because I wasn’t loving my color choices. I’m still not 100% loving them, but I’m feeling rejuvenated and in the mood to get it done anyway.
(Pretty Little London pattern by Satsuma Designs found here. Adorable Needle Minder by Flamingo Toes available here.)
So I guess I share all of that just to let you know, if you’re in a funk, it’s not just you. In fact, it helped me to read this interview with many creatives in All People Quilt Magazine about their own creativity ups and downs right now.
We’re all just humans, and we’re not alone in our processing life in these tumultuous times. Hang in there, friends.